50

Fifty pounds. I’ve lost 50 pounds in the last 18 weeks. Every day has been a struggle. I love food. I love searching for recipes, looking at pictures, shopping, cutting, preparing, eating, and even the clean up in the kitchen. Food. Colorful, tasty, fragrant food. Orange. Yellow. Green. Red. Purple. So beautiful. But, I also love myself. I had gotten to a point where I was feeling fat- because I was. I was tired all the time and I snored like a freight train. I had a hard time getting comfortable for anything. In the car, my belly would touch the steering wheel. I still wore a bathing suit and pretended to not care, but I have always cared about how I look.

One morning, I got up and just quit eating. I had purchased a KETO brand shake from Weight Watchers and had the box under my desk at work. Maybe somehow I was subconsciously setting myself up for it, but one day- a Monday- 18 weeks and one day ago, I just woke up and quit. It was November 2nd. I remember that because we went to an indoor water park for Halloween this year. I stayed in the background of the pictures and kept pushing my kids in front of me to hide the belly. I wore my bathing suit. I went up the stairs. I did the slides. I rode every tunnel, every float, and I visited the snack bar. I did all the things, but that Monday morning, I took a look at the pictures on my phone and I didn’t even know who I was looking at.

Since Monday, November 2nd, I have settled on KETO as my diet. I didn’t have a name for it back then, and I really had no idea what I was doing. KETO was on the bottle of the WW shakes I purchased, so I started Googling what that was. Then, I joined a Facebook group. Then another group. People were sharing their stories, recipes, and encouragement. Perfect! I found connections in one of the group and they were challenging each other daily. YES! Exactly what I needed. Then, Thanksgiving came around- but that was easy. Turkey and veggies. Done. Then Christmas. Yikes! No problem, though! By then, I had lost 20 pounds and was feeling determined.

Then came vacation in early January. The first part of the week was easy, but then we were fed by my cousins who are terrific cooks. I ate carbs, but I kept portions under control. The 18 hour drive home yielded choices that also had more carbs than I am proud of, but I didn’t call it cheating. I was living. The road trip didn’t have many other choices, and I was hungry. We played hard in the snow and were super active. Guess what? I still lost weight on the trip!

It was almost 30 pounds until people started noticing. Now, everyone notices and it feels great! I started exercising religiously just before week 17 and while I’d like to report more energy, I’m tired. I know that I feel better though, because I can keep up with my family. Hours of prom dress shopping, getting ready for three vacations next week, a quick trip to Houston last week, cleaning the house, and working full time would have been too much for me weeks ago. Not to mention getting ahead on my dissertation and coursework so that I can say YES! during vacations planned for Spring Break.

I may only be writing this for myself, but I thought it was important to share. I didn’t mean to lose 50 lbs and I’m not sure I even have a goal weight. I just simply decided to start saying YES! to myself and my health. I still love food. I still cook, clean, shop for, prep, and cook delicious meals. I just don’t eat all the carb loaded foods that go with it. I make better choices for myself and most importantly, I am taking care of my one and only body. I’m so proud of the way my kids look at me, and I’m proud that I don’t hide in pictures anymore. Yes. Yay me!