Grace

On Friday, the hospital called around 8 a.m. to pre-register Holly for today’s appointment. Cool. Done. Check. Around 8:30, another call from the ole’ 682-885 prefix came in. If you’re local, you probably know that is the hospital’s digits. I decided to answer it and of course my first thought was “You BETTER NOT cancel the appointment.”

It was actually the nurse from the pain management clinic calling to touch base with me. She began by asking how Holly was and how I was. This took me by surprise. She explained how this type of appointment typically goes and what to expect. I had a few questions and she kindly, gently and reassuringly explained things. The trouble is that no two kids are alike when it comes to pain management and so a comprehensive, lengthy evaluation and detailed plan takes time to go through, agree upon, consider, and propose- and then getting confirmation from insurance and setting up the action plan just takes time. Cool. I just need to know what to expect. I get that. and I can work with that. I’m the Boss, but this is a new division for me.

Towards the end of the call, I asked if I should call Scottish Rite back and let them know that what they originally proposed to us is not at all how things go down. The nurse giggled a little and assured me that they already had that conversation with them. Then she said something that I’ll never forget. She said, “The best thing to do is just offer GRACE.” She explained that SR had the best of intentions and that Cooks wants to help, too. This is a complicated situation and we all have to work together. She said, “Grace always wins.”

Guilty. I’ve been shown so much grace in the last few weeks. So much. My teammates at school have bent over backwards to help me and my students. My administration has been kind, understanding and compassionate towards my situation. When we left the hospital in October, for 22 days straight, dinner was brought to us. My colleagues donated sick days so that the financial burden has not been overwhelming. Friends, family and strangers have been at our doorsteps with flowers, gifts, snacks, and outpourings of love. Personal letters and cards as well as spiritual devotions, scripture cards, and well wishes have poured into us.

Grace is defined as courteous goodwill. We’ve been given grace. Abundantly. Yet, I get so caught up in the stress and worry that I forget to extend grace. Wow. Tina, get it together. It made me think about that nurse. She did not have to call me. She did not have to say that. But, she’s right.

As a teacher, I wish that parents sometimes knew how tough it was to be a teaching mom. I mean, getting up early to work my second job online, getting my kids up for school, fighting about having to brush teeth and find socks/ shoes… By the time I get to school some mornings, I just want to take a nap… but, I have 23 kids coming down the hall expecting my best welcoming smile. My students deserve me to be on my “A” game and have lessons that are engaging and exciting and research based and aligned to district expectations on schedule and with the rigor and relevance expected by state exams. Really, I’m still trying to get the dog poop off my shoe. Really.

But, that nurse. I bet she struggled with her own kids Friday morning. I bet she’s had dog poop on her shoes. I bet she did not get into that job to screw up kids or get summers off. I bet that she kisses her own personal kids goodbye in the morning, gets to the hospital to see sick kids- all of which are in pain- and she chooses to be a servant every single day. Then, at the end of the day- after seeing multiple kids and their exhausted caregivers complain about pain and beg for help- she stops by the grocery store and then goes home to cook her family dinner and read a bedtime story to the people that truly matter most to her. She deserves grace. We all do.

The coordinators at SR deserve grace. The doctors deserve grace. The nurses deserve grace. The hospital deserves grace. Teachers deserve grace. Everyone deserves grace and I’m so quick to only think about my needs and get frustrated with my situation. That ends now. I’m going to challenge myself to look for opportunities to extend grace and gratitude for people. Not just people that do things for me, but for everyone. I’m going to say, “Merry Christmas” to people and mean it. I’m going to let that stupid idiot over into my lane even though I had the right of way. I’m going to try and not think about road ragers as stupid idiots.

So, there’s my confession for today. Maybe some of you are like me and needed to be reminded that “Grace always wins.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

2 Corinthians 8:7 But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you—see that you excel in this act of grace also.