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Not about the Belt

We’ve had our mower for over three years. My daughter, Holly, came home from college for Christmas break. She said she was “bored,” so she mowed and crunched up the leaves in the very back and the front yard. The middle section needed to be mowed, but several toys and the trampoline needed to be moved. She ran out of time and just parked the mower under the patio.

Last Monday night, my husband’s father passed away unexpectedly. Tuesday morning, we got up and went to breakfast thinking the funeral home would call at any time. After waiting on hold for over an hour, the funeral home said they couldn’t get us in until Saturday morning to make final arrangements. We knew that was a formality, but it felt like an eternity. The good news is that our church graciously offered to host a memorial service for Sunday. So, by noon on Tuesday, we had a plan. Service on Sunday afternoon with dinner at our house afterward. Great.

Back to the mower. Tuesday afternoon, Jason kicked in to “get the house ready for company” mode. He focused on the yard while I started wrapping my brain around being in the hospital on Christmas Eve. All of the sudden, the mower stopped. A belt had come loose. Jason has fixed that belt 9,999 times – each time takes maybe a minute- but not this time. Over two hours later- with lots of cussing- and fussing at Holly (who was trying to help)- he finally just got up and walked around for a minute. Holly went to get Taylin from school and I sat down at the mower, on the other side and held the belt in place while Jason slipped it right on- as he had done many times before. At that time, Jason lost it. Not because he is weak, but for the exact opposite reason.

You see, it had nothing to do with the belt on the mower. He knew exactly what to do and how to fix it. But sometimes, things just can’t be “fixed.” It takes time. It takes a little help. Grief is a weird deal- and it comes in waves- and at unpredictable times- like fixing the belt on the mower. Give yourself permission to grieve and allow others to also. Just don’t kick the mower and hurt yourself. #becauseYES

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