Yes, I am that mom. I don’t have the time, desire, or training to handle all of life’s bumps, bruises and cuts. I have band-aids, neosporin, ibuprofen, and cough drops on the counter. There are ice packs in the freezer. Handle it. That’s the rule. Put some dirt on it and handle your business.
Most of the time, this works for us. My kids are pretty self-sufficient. Sure, I help them with school work, teach them to cook, pay for things, etc… but I also try to be real. In real life, you have to learn to solve problems and find solutions.
Dirt doesn’t always work, though. I’ve had to learn to navigate some pretty tough situations with my kids. When Holly was little, she had back to back pneumococcal infections. One night, the doctor called around 11 p.m. and said, “Your daughter is septic. There’s not much time. I’m going to meet you at the hospital. Do we need to send and ambulance?” Thankfully, Jason took that phone call. We were new parents scared out of our minds. The Lord kept us in that situation. Fast forward a few years and Dani quit breathing at just 7 weeks old. We were speeding to the hospital and she turned completely blue. I started CPR in the floorboard of my van as Jason drove 100 mph to the hospital in Waco close to my parent’s house. She was transferred that day to Cooks and the nurses still can’t believe that she made it. The Lord kept us in that situation. Then, Tayin was born with Spina Bifida. Six surgeries and countless procedures and three years of staying home with him for physical therapy, occupational therapy, dietitians, etc… every specialist ECI had was in our home multiple times a week. Even with his heart defects, the Lord has kept us. Then, Holly had reconstructive knee surgery after tearing her ACL, MCL and meniscus. The Lord kept us.
A few months ago, Holly told me her back hurt. She’s a cheerleader. Of course her back hurts. I told her to put some dirt on in back in March. She got through cheer try-outs and competition season and then took most of the summer off. When school resumed, she quadrupled her tumbling, working, coaching and cheer practices. Her back really started to bother her which is why I finally took her to the chiropractor. On September 9, we learned she had a herniated disc. Six weeks of therapy and a spinal injection later, she was doing well- even allowed to return to cheer in moderation. Then, October 19th, everything changed. She completely herniated the entire lumbar region. Every disc had issues and she was completely in agony. In all my life, I have never encountered any living creature in that much pain. My heart was completely broken and I felt that God had forsaken us. I knew that He was present, but I was angry. For the first time in my life, I questioned everything- including Him. But, we are no strangers to adversity, so I kicked into full gear looking for solutions.
This time, there are no solutions. Holly’s injury has no fix except for time and pain management. I’m learning that pain management required much more than medicine, rest and therapy. This type of pain managment is all encompassing. Mind, body, and soul for not just her, but our entire family. From the way she sits, gets up, gets into bed, stands, breathes, the physical and occupational therapy, the cognitive restructuring… all of it… even the way that we respond to her has had to change. One thing that I’ve had to learn is to not ask her how she is- because that reminds her that she is in pain. In addition, when she does complain, I have to distract her and encourage her to “put some dirt on it.” In other words, grab a heating pad (or ice), rest, take a bath, do your biofeedback app, etc…
But, guess what? The Lord has kept us. Even in my darkest days, I caught glimpses of Him. Usually, His grace was made evident through others. Our family, friends and colleagues took care of us. Many of you prayed us through our darkest days. Times when I couldn’t or refused to pray because I was so angry at God, I knew we were being held in His hands through the support of our loved ones.
Yes, I am that mom. I will continue to encourage my kids to put some dirt on it. I will also be the mom that reminds them that in all situations, He is present. Our God loves us and can handle our questions and our doubt. He has big shoulders and is okay if we are angry. He is also a good, good father. I don’t understand, but I do trust and I have seen his mercy and blessings even on some of the most difficult days. So, let go, let God and put some dirt on it.
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