Psalm 118:24- This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
I kept singing that all morning yesterday. It was the song I woke up thinking about. I sang it out loud and I declared that no matter what the doctors said concerning Holly’s plan, I was going to be okay with it. I felt happy and content more than nervous or anxious. The Xanex probably helped, too. Jason was going to meet us at Cooks and we were going to create and begin attacking her wellness as a family. Go team BERNARD!
On the way to the hospital, though, I got a call from Jason’s aunt. They were trying to reach Jason and his sister because his dad (George) had a massive heart attack. Jason’s dad is a pretty private person, so we had no idea that he had been admitted to the hospital the night before for something different and now, the hospital was asking for his kids to come and make medical decisions on his behalf. I had to pull over, call Jason and his sister and tell them to get to the hospital because their dad had a massive heart attack, he was still alive, but the doctors needed them to make the next decisions.
I’m sitting there wondering what to do. If I don’t go to Holly’s appointment, it might be months before we can get back in. Dammmit. I wanted Jason to help me make decisions. If I go to the hospital for George, I’ll be the first Bernard there and they’ll ask me questions. Dammmmit. No. I’m going to Holly’s appointment and I’m going to let Jason and his sister handle that and we’ll be there as soon as we can- unless they admit Holly- which is still an option at this point. Dammmit.
We get to Holly’s appointment. OH. MY. GOSH. Y’all. I’ve never been an appointment like that. I didn’t even realize it has been 2 1/2 hours before we were through. The team checked her from head to toe. Questions about everything. Goals. Dreams. Hope. Assurances. They did this thing where they put their thumbs on her back and had her bend over. Her S joint (whatever that is) was out of place. They did these two stretches using the wall for 15 seconds each 3x and she turned around and bent over without pain. WHAT??? Yes. I’m serious. We set up a plan for physical therapy, massage therapy, yoga, biofeedback, cognitive behavior therapy, acupuncture, diet, exercise and sleep/relaxation therapy. We changed around her medicine and as soon as all the adjustments are on point with those medicines, she’ll be able to drive and not be so doped up. We all agreed that she should be ready to start back to school (even on a modified schedule) in January. Praise God. Should be, but I’m declaring it now. Yes. I have a huge job to get her to all these places. Yes, she has a huge job- but we’re together- outpatient- doing our thing. Guess what? On a personal note, the doctor thought I was a rock star. She completely agrees with acupuncture (and even is the Cooks acupuncture doctor), Cryotherapy, tumeric (but told me to get the kind mixed with black pepper to help with absorbtion), the saunas/ whirlpools, and even the Chinese herbal version of Hydrocodone…. All of that- all of that- was the best mix of holistic and modern medicine… She said it will take a while, but Holly should be good as new. I hugged her. I didn’t just hug her. I embraced her. She hugged back and even rubbed her hand up and down my back during the embrace. She loves kids. She is a GREAT doctor. She hugged Holly. I took a deep breath- one like I haven’t taken in months. We set her a follow up appointment and then stopped by the bathroom. By the time we got off the elevators, I already had 2 voicemails from the subsequent clinics with orders to get Holly in stat. Our appointments start today. What? I’m blown away.
And then I remember… Crap!!!! Jason’s dad… okay. Let’s get over there. Now, it’s been 3 hours since I got that call. I know Jason had not eaten lunch and I was guessing that his sister hadn’t either. So, we stopped by McDonald’s and grabbed some burgers and fries. We get to the hospital and there are 900 Bernards there… not really but, a lot. I stepped in to see George, but they were throwing people out of the ICU- so most of the family went downstairs. Holly and I said hello to him and then I sent Holly with Jason down to join the family and eat while I stayed with George. I was only in there for a few minutes when they asked me to leave so that they could put in a PIC line- said it would take about 20 min and then we could come back in 2 at a time. Great. So, I went downstairs. Apparently, George had fallen the night before and messed up his knee. They kept him overnight for observation because I guess his blood work and swelling in his legs were off. Nonetheless, just before noon yesterday, he flat lined. Not just a heart attack, but his heart quit working. He was out for about 8 minutes before they got him back. They took him in for a heart cath and there’s no blockages and no reason he went into what they are calling V-fib. Apparently, that’s really bad. But, Holly and I had seen George and told him we love him and there were plenty of other Bernards around. Plus, really Jason and his sister need to be by his side. So, Holly and I came home to get Dani and Taylin and settle in for the night. I told Jason that I could get things settled and then come back. Hugs for everyone… Off we go.
Holly and I stop to get her new medicines. One medicine won’t be here until tomorrow after two. Great. The other medicine is a sulfa drug. WHAT? No. I go to the car and get the orders. No, we checked that. It is not- but the original drug we had discussed is and while the orders call for the right drug, the other drug got called in. Dammmit… Grace. It was a mistake. Then, the Aspercreme with Lidocane doesn’t say anything about sulfa, but the pharmacist said to call the drug company and double check because sometimes the ingredients listed are made with sulfa. Dammmit. Another phone call. Then, on the way out, the school called because Holly was absent???? No, she’s on homebound- but I bet the paperwork was only set up through last week- which is not a big deal, just more paperwork and phone calls. Dammmmit. Fine.
When Beth pulls up with Dani and Taylin, I am shocked. Taylin has Chicken Express and Dani has Panda Express. My kids were not only taken care of after school, they were spoiled. I could have cried. Perfect. We get home, go through Taylin’s backpack and get out the homework, work on a math mission, Holly works on her Spanish work and Dani feeds the animals. Except, not much because I forgot to stop and pick up more sheep food. And, I forgot to get the Kagen water refilled for Holly. Neither of those things really matter though.
I finally text Jason and ask if I should head back up there. Nothing. So, I get everyone settled in bed and nothing. Okay, I’ll just lay down. Nothing. I woke up a couple of times to check my phone and nothing. No Jason. No text.
This morning, I texted Jason that after I drop the kids off at school, I will bring him coffee and a phone charger and breakfast. He FINALLY texted back, “ballcap.” That’s what I get. At least I know he’s alive. And, I’ll bring a ballcap for him.
On the way to George’s hospital, Holly asked why were were cursed. I thought about going into that rabbit hole, but the truth is we are very, very blessed. I know exactly why Satan is attacking us. I posted scripture on my blog yesterday. I have surrendered all of Holly’s care to Him. I am claiming God’s mercy and grace and healing power over our family. Therefore, Satan will attack us in other ways. The way to get to me is through my family. So, he found a weak link and pounced. Bring it.
I’m going to drink another cup of coffee, put on the full armor of God, go back through my scripture cards from MaryAnn, pray, get these kids to school, go by Holly’s school and figure out what we need to do for homebound services to continue, take a Xanex, call the doctor’s office and get the medicine situated, bring Jason a bag (and ballcap), and get to Holly’s appointment. Why?
Psalms 118:24 This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
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